hot take… “let men show platonic affection towards each other without saying they’re gay” is useless and bad discourse and we should instead focus on gay men not being seen as gross and wrong
the stigma towards men showing affection towards each other…is caused by homophobia
I’ve been thinking about this and tbh the overwhelming majority of things men are shamed for doing are things associated with gay men. The societal pressure for men to not show emotions outside of anger, to not dress in bright colors, to not have fulfilling platonic friendships with women, to not be physically affectionate with men, etc is homophobia. In all those thinkpieces about how patriarchy limits men— I mean you can argue homophobia is part of patriarchy more broadly, but— it’s really specifically homophobia that is restricting men.
Coming soon:MyTransHealth, an app connecting trans people to knowledgeable, reliable and affordable healthcare providers.
19% of trans people have been refused healthcare because of their gender identity. 50% of trans people have had to teach their doctors about trans-related medical care. 28% of trans people have been harassed in medical settings. This app is desperately needed. Follow them at mytranshealth.
I AM CRYING HOLY SHIT. This is so important. You know I’m serious because I am actually using these things called capitalization and punctuation. You guys. Please. Please boost the hell out of this. It means so much.
*SLAMS THE SHIT OUT OF THE REBLOG BUTTON*
omg pls make this international / not just US-centric!
We won’t rest until every trans person on the planet has access to safe, affordable, and reliable health care.
aside from this comic being really cute and honest, it also points out this really huge glaring problem in the gay community in relation to trans-men.
in my experience with a lot of gay men, they have this extremely purist view when it comes to what being a “real man” is, which is bad enough when you have different gay subcultures (bears, gymrats, etc) who have different specific definitions of what a “real man” is.
however for the most part, many gay men seem to agree upon a point of leaving trans-men not only out of their gender, but out of their sexuality as well and I have a real fucking problem with that.
i’m pretty open about things that relate to my sexuality, and i myself identify more or less as a homosexual, but i’ve found the worst part in the gay community is dealing with this bullshit. eventually i found that i at least have the luxury of telling guys to fuck off if i don’t meet their standards, but i know that’s a lot harder for folk when they seem to have the entire population of homosexuals more or less invalidating not only their gender, but their orientation as well.
with all of that said, i just ask this. if you happen to be a cisgender homosexual, like myself, don’t tell other gay men that they aren’t actually gay if they’re dating or have had relations with a trans-man because that’s a load of fucking bullshit.
more important, under any circumstance do not tell a trans-man they’re not a man or that they aren’t allowed to like other men who are homosexual, be they cis or trans.
little known fact, once you are older & no longer in school, time stops being real. did that thing happen one year ago? two? five? a few months ago? who knows.
Me whenever The Gaming Industry announces yet another multiplayer-only action game with a quirky pseudo-Overwatch art style devoid of story or the ability to play the game in an enjoyable manner unless you have half a dozen online friends who are somehow supposed to synchronize their lives, jobs and free time with me for our full “shared world live service experience”:
People talk about when straight cis people say things about queer people, but nobody ever told me what to do with the straight silence™.
Because I don’t get a lot of purposefully homophobic or transphobic things said to me. I get silence. I bring up an issue and all of a sudden the conversation ends right there. Dead stop. Silence. No comment. No laugh. No expression of discomfort, interest, or anger. No follow up question. Just blank face and silence.
Mention something about my transition that relates to the conversation? Silence. Bring up my cousin’s lesbian ex girlfriend? Silence. Bring up how demonetization is affecting queer YouTubers? Silence. Killed the conversation with a rainbow bullet. One shot to the head.
That’s all I’ve ever gotten. Silence. Did anyone tell me about gay people when I was a kid? No. Did I get my questions answered when I asked about cross dressers? No. Just silence. My entire life. No indication if people are for or against. It’s really starting to piss me off. You can’t continue the conversation? Say you don’t know? Drive us away from the topic? Say you’re uncomfortable or don’t understand? Anything? I’m not allowed to casually bring up queer stuff like any other topic? What?
I’m just sick of the silence. I truly am. I’m sick of just being met with silence. And this silence doesn’t happen with other queer people. It doesn’t. Even if it’s about a topic they know nothing about. Just straight cis people. They’re killing me with their silence. Why do they do that?
Queer Fortress 